i just read my emo post from last time. smh. i need to do better.. cleeearly lol. but like mary j blige said in one of my favorite songs of hers
“when you’re feeling down, youuu should neever fake it.”
<3 that line.
i don’t talk about what i do much. it’s because i want anonymity.. but i feel like i’m doing myself and ya’ll a disservice by focusing on the mundane things like emotions, guys and general, vague frustrations with life.
i’m in school. i mentor. i do executive board things. i read, i write, i study then repeat. i’m trying to figure out what i ultimately want to do with my life. because even though i’m in school, there are so many questions that are still unanswered. for instance
where do i want to live?
do i see myself in a large workplace? or someplace more intimate?
will i only be happy working for myself… eventually?
do i want to teach?
do i want to try something abroad? could i sustain myself?
what area would want to work… like subject-wise?
is there one subject that screams me? or are there multiple things i could be equally happy doing?
what is the thing that i am meant to do.. the place that only i can fill?
what can i get lost in doing… where nothing else matters?
these are the types of questions that cross my mind weekly— if not daily. it’s kind of overwhelming. it’s so much better for me to focus on things bit by bit, but it’s always helped to know what my end goal was. it helps with my vision. it helps me to visualize. that’s what i’m hoping for now. a vision i can hold onto and not get led astray.
